White van men and taxis
Think they own the road
If I had semtex in my jeans
Their vehicles would explode

They dart out from a junction
They hog the roundabout
I really try to stay quite calm
But I feel I have to shout

“Get off the road, you moron
Consideration’s not your game
Give way to other drivers
Have you no f—ing shame!”

I get the finger signal
And the language turning blue
The laughter coming from the van
Stirs the blood in you.

Out comes the trusty rifle
Hidden underneath my seat
It’s time to turn that white van red
And roar off in retreat!!!