Well, do you like my Christmas jumper. I have my yellow polka dot bikini on under this. Well, you never know your luck when you’re out on your Christmas Do!! I’m taking me wee friend Aggie out the night. God love her, sure she deserves it. Heart of gold, she has, do anything for ye but a wee bit slow on the uptake. Know what I mean!

She bought me a Christmas present last year, said it was a cordless battery for me mixer. Funny shaped thing, I thought but would come in handy. So I puts the batteries in and the bloody thing took off, fell of the table, scittered across the floor, quivering like a scared rabbit. Jesus, I wonder where she got that. I asked her. She said a wee cookery shop in Rosemary Street called Annie Summers. Said she knew it was a cookery shop because all the models in the window had wee maid’s outfits on them. She went in and never in her life did she see so many gadgets for making cookies and scones and stuff, Don’t get her started about the jelly moulds. Says the wee assistant came over to her and showed her a thing that looked like an egg, ye put it in yer wee woman. How the hell do ye make scones like that. Sure ye’d be jiggling all over the place. I don’t know. The things they come out with now. Good soul is Aggie. Good friend. Ye could shake her sometimes but I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

She has this drunken scut of a husband, never did a day’s work in his life. Her Sammy. He thinks he can read, one book a year and the dictionary beside him for all the hard words. Ye know like the and it and if. Plonker. Anyway good hearted Aggie decided to get him a Chrissie present as well. Wanders round the town and spots this shop called BOOKS AND BONKS. In she goes, gets him two, pictures included. Aggie thinks they’re exercise books, all them people doing different positions. Might get him off the couch and into the gym. God love her. He exercised alright. Spent most of his time in the bathroom. Aggie thought first of all he was sick. All the moaning and groaning but then she heard him laugh and she was all chuffed. She’d got him the right present. Indeed she had . Sammy ended up in the City hospital with groin strain.

So I’m taking her out the night for a wee Hooley!  Couple of wee half’uns in The Glenowen then on to the old folk’s home on the Glen Road. Those men up there are a bit frisky so as I say ye never know yer luck!! I’ve a spare pair in me handbag just in case!!!!

Merry Christmas everybody!!! Have a good one!!!