I was sitting on the floor of the Bucharest airport just waiting for my flight (hope there’s a JVC handy to get me back up!! – no, a JCB – the other’s a record player, isn’t it??. Now the fact that it was 9.30 a.m and my flight was at 2.05 p.m needs some explaining! I’m a little early! Well, a lot early!! You know anything could go wrong!! Accidents, breakdowns, an unsolicited Daniel O’ Donnell concert, invasion of the Body Snatchers!! Anything!

Just hanging around, people watching!! Everybody scurrying about, but happy!! Either going home or going on holiday!! Colourful clothes, colourful luggage! OooH!! Just saw flight crew going by! The one at the back is fit!! Tight bum, tapered waist, nice fitting white shirt (there’s something about a white shirt on a man!!) Hmmm!! Tasty!!

Right! Stop it Phyllis! He’s young enough to be your – your -your em!! Toy Boy!! Indeedy!! Come back here!! We’ll fly to the Mile High Club together!! Aw! He mustn’t have heard me. Or else he did, turned, had a look, then scarpered!!

I got rejected at the passport control! Story of my life, really!!  They said the scanner didn’t recognize me!! Well, I don’t recognise it!! So there!! Jesus, I only got my teeth done! Not a complete facelift! But I got straight through customs!! This time!! Then again, I didn’t have any willy shaped bottles filled with booze or any containers of rubbing alcohol!! Yeah!! Rubbing alcohol!! For my sore feet!!! I kid you not!! It is very good for painful feet, just rub it on!! Though, drinking it would do the same job!! Pain all gone either way but very happy the second way!!

Very nice young man sitting opposite me on bus to Belfast!! Not being racist but he was the most handsome dark-skinned man I have ever seen!! Drooling at the mouth here!! He had every kind of electronic gadget under the sun on the table in front of him!! Two phones, tablet, computer etc.,. Do you think that was to make him look impotent!! No, meant important!! He would definitely not be the former!! Kept sneaking looks at him when he fell asleep! Gorgeous!!

The only gadgets I had were my Dracula hat, my cracked phone and my battery operated thingie in my handbag!!! Toothbrush, toothbrush!! Ye dirty hallions!!!

 

I’M HOME!!!