Jesus, it’s hot in here! Do ye hear me, Big Man? He never does. I’m too low down the scale for Him. Sweat running down my face, through the blackness and the dustiness of the coal. What kind of a job is this? The only one I could get, Mate, in my circumstances. I’ve complained numerous times but all that gets you is a double shift in the furnace. No union, ye see! No one to back me up. They’re all afraid, terrified more like. There’s worse jobs here than stoking a fire, believe me. But c’mon, fair’s fair. A sip of water every two hours and that evaporates before the spoon reaches yer mouth. I can’t go on. Something’s gonna have to be done. But, Oh, the Boss is cruel. For yer own good, he keeps saying. What the Hell does that mean? I don’t rightly know how long I’ve been here but it sure seems like an eternity. I set my fork down and leaned back, for a split second. Jesus, even the walls were made of molten lava.

“God.” I screamed, Stop it . No point in that now. I dug my own grave. Too late for remorse now.  I don’t have to stay here forever, do I? Now, what did that contract say?

I thought it was worth it at the time, ye know. I just wanted peace and quiet. Stilled her mouth forever, I did. I thought!

I can just make out, through a chink in the wall, the brightness,  I can feel the peace, sense the love. Hnh!! I thought that’s what I had when I married her. Lovely, she was. Innocent and quiet. Oh so quiet. Things changed over the years. I blame her Ma, of course, even when she popped her clogs. The influence had taken root.  The Wicked Witch of the North. What’s wrong with a wee drink and a flirt. That’s all it was. Well, except for that one time, and the other time and maybe……. anyway, it didn’t mean anything. She found out. Life wasn’t worth living after that. The screeching voice, the cracks on the head from flying crockery. It’s a wonder I wasn’t killed. Couldn’t take it anymore. Had to do it. It was easy enough really, a trip on the stairs, shouldn’t have left my old shoe there. Slap me hand and apologise! Didn’t last long. Got a few months of peace then was hauled off to jail for murdering the other half. Police are good, not that good. Didn’t know my nosy neighbour heard her scream and was peeking through the hall door, saw me give her an extra shove. Just to be sure, to be sure. Twenty five to life I got. But quieter life than living with the She-Devil. She hadn’t been a bad looking bit o’ stuff, my wifie. Even as she got older. She wore well, as they say.     The Boss took a liking to her, it seems. Before I arrived, that is. Saw her after I was here for a while. Couldn’t understand at first. Why was she here? Does constant nagging cast you down here?  Seems not, as I found out a little thing about Her Indoors. She f—ing killed her Ma! To get her Money! Jesus, God, I swear I didn’t know! But Christ I do now. What kind of punishment is this? I prefer the heat of the furnaces, Please, I’m begging. Help me. Isn’t it ironic.. She would have lived to a ripe old age if I hadn’t done her in. She wouldn’t be here now but then again she’d still be making my life a misery down there on the planet.

I’d died, you see. There in prison. No hesitation where I was going. No sympathy for the life she led me. I was away to get a sunburn, permanently. And then I saw her. Arm in arm with The Boss, Lucifer, Ole Nick, whatever. She looked glorious. No punishment for her. No stoking of the Fires of Hell. Here they come now. Right towards me. Mr. Mrs Legion. Him with His Big Fork (or so she says) and her with her big bosom (stolen from an evil supermodel.) I’d stopped, you see. Stoking the flames. She noticed, whispered in her Lord’s ear and now my complete end was near. I’ll be the fuel now, keeping the heat going for the little time my puny body burns. I’ll have my silence.