I laid my items out one by one

Now was the time for a bit of fun

There was glue and rope and a roll of duct tape

Silken scarves of every shape

Chains, padlocks and a large wall hook

My husband then took a sneaky look

I produced some handcuffs covered in fur

I could sense him now beginning to stir

Feather duster, a cane and a devilish whip

Now I could see his quivering lip

Last but not least, brushes and paint

Oh dear! i thought he was going to faint

I sashayed across and sat on his knee

“My darling, what would you do for me?

Would you tie me up and make me squirm?”

He slithered from the chair like a petrified worm.

Headed for the door and out to the street

Just one task he had to complete

Not fifty shades but just one hue

I just wanted my kitchen painted blue

But he had to be coaxed to get off his chair

So I gave him a pornographic scare!