WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

When my husband and I left for Australia little did we know we were bringing a stowaway. A surprise after Christmas gift maybe. A passenger we had been told did not exist. While I got the negative result, another poor soul was either rejoicing or lamenting the situation. If you haven’t already guessed, all will be revealed soon. I mean Seamus and I were as green as grass. I was nineteen and he was twenty one. Kids really, let loose in a strange land. Getting a bit ahead of myself here.

We arrived in Sydney, two nervous newly – weds, wondering why in earth we had done it. Emigrated that is, not get married. But we had a saviour. My Aunt Mary’s brother took us under his wing and before long we had jobs and a place to live. We settled down, Seamus more than me, homesickness and all that. It really exists ,you know. One embarrassing incident I recall was when one of my newly found friends on leaving work called out to me:

“See you later!”

Now I know its common enough now but not then. I had my poor husband making sandwiches, setting out biscuits and placing our best wedding tea service neatly on the table. And we waited for our workmates arrival. And we waited! And we waited! The sandwiches began to wilt, the bikkies were going soggy until we sort of got the idea it was only a greeting. What a disappointment! I didn’t tell the unarrived guest in work next day. Would you? I could picture her thought process: Stupid Irish!

At that particular time I loved a wee drink and a smoke. Not a raving alcoholic mind you or a sixty a day addict. Just an occasional wee treat. But suddenly they started to taste funny. Couldn’t entertain any of those wee pleasures. Probably a good thing you’re thinking. But strange. I wrote home and requested some Embassy Red cigs. They arrived but no use, cigarettes Australian or otherwise were unsmokable. I don’t think that’s a word. At that point I could find no explanation for it!

Anyway, my cousin Tony and Jill his wife, were coming to visit. They had flown to Australia a few years before us and were returning home. If it hadn’t been for their arrival and stern advice from Jill I might have lost my secret traveller.

“Get to the Doctor ASAP! “ she said and I did.

Four and half months pregnant I was! Well!  To say we were shocked was an understatement. We were so naïve then. I mean what did we expect to happen. We had been enjoying ourselves quite a bit, if you know what I mean. We were married. It was legal! I had to leave work because of a threatening miscarriage. Jason’s now 52 and as strong as an ox and very handsome of course. Takes that from my side of the family.

My first visit to the Doctor and I was told I was lop sided. What? It seems most people are. One breast a little lower than the other and one foot a fraction bigger. I kept looking at myself after that. Maybe if I pushed one up or pulled one down they might stay equal. The boyo didn’t seem to mind. He was quite happy with what I had. After a while I started to resemble a barrage balloon. Even got to the point where I couldn’t see my feet. Hubby had to put on my tights or socks. Flip! He was loving this . Had to tie my laces and all. One of my pet hates is having to rely on a man for anything, especially something as simple as that. And the heat wasn’t helping. 40 degrees in the shade and our flat was on a  very sloped hill. You could fry an egg on the pavement for goodness sake. I hadn’t a clue about what was going to happen to me, apart from the fact that sometime in the future I was having a baby.

I needed someone who knew a little bit about thing  because Seamus and I hadn’t a clue. Lucky enough a friend I used to work with in Belfast Mary emigrated over and we had help.

Eventually I was in hospital, false alarm as it happened, but was kept in. Started off in an intermediate ward, about four beds, but was quickly chucked out as they discovered I had no medical insurance. Dumped in the paupers’ ward, which I actually preferred. More company. I was told, not very sympathetically, that the pain would get worse instead of better. I must have been making a hell of a lot of noise! My son was born on the 27^th January, weighing in at over 7lbs. Beautiful baby boy with his Dad’s ginger, auburn hair. That didn’t last long, turned pure blond in the sun, a mass of blond curls, and darkened when we came home.

His Father came up to see him dressed in shorts. He was dressed in shorts not the baby! Shorts! An Irish man, just arrived in Sydney, in shorts. The whitest legs I’d ever seen, like the sweety cigarettes you used to be able to buy. I laughed so much I thought I was going to wet myself. Seamus got me back for that though. He arrived up to take me home with all clothes intact except for my underwear. Now that might have  been fine if he had brought me up trousers but No! A skirt. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because men are so stupid where women are concerned. Apologies to the male members of the audience.

A lovely thing happened to me while I was in hospital. Well, two lovely things actually.!!My New Zealand friend  Carol was getting married during that time and she landed up at the hospital with new hubby Ken in tow and her bouquet of red roses, which she gave to me. I still have them, pressed between an Elvis book on my shelf. Jason is now 52.Second thing was so unexpected. It happened to be my birthday exactly one week after Jason was born I had a medical problem and was still in hospital on my birthday. The nurses of Denistone House arrived at my bedside with a card and pastry with a candle in it. The card I still have but I ate the cake!

So there we were! With a new baby, not a year in Australia and now a family. Two youngsters  who hadn’t got a clue and a lodger who was only marginally more informed.

What did we want for Christmas. Well just a month after the actual day. We gained a present that we had actually carried unbeknownst to us from Belfast.

The best present any couple could wish for, a clueless couple who were going to do their very best for this little boy. I’m sure Jason looked at us cooing into his cot and thought in his  wee mind: “Oh Dear! I need help or they do!”