Good Grief! Good Grief! I’m losing my teeth!

I can’t sleep! I can’t sleep! I’m losing my teeth!

In all of my life that’s my very worst fear

And now that dreadful day is here

Good Grief! Good Grief! I’m losing my teeth!

I’ve bought every gadget known to man

To try to keep them as long as I can

Pastes and powders and dental floss

They are not going to stop my dreadful loss

Mouthwashes that promise to protect

Heeded warnings if you neglect

To brush and floss every day

To ensure the tartare goes away

Electric toothbrushes to polish and clean

Flossers to remove food from in between

I flew abroad and paid a lot

To see what different methods they’d got

To keep my treasures where they should be

And not beginning to part from me

Nothing worked. The tears are falling.

Now I can hear the dentist calling

Goodbye sweet molars, I tried my best

Now I intend to look after the rest1