Phyllis McKenna

I bought a beautiful Amber bracelet from a lovely lady in the square. She was trying to explain to me about its qualities and how it is good for the body!! She spoke about my body! I think she said it was floppy and full of pictures!!! Wee tummy and map of Ireland on my legs!!! Came back to my room and it was all tidied! So much so I couldn’t find the remote control for the T. V! And cleaned again this morning! I had expected powdered glass in my cornflakes if they had been reading my posts! One glass of wine in La Scena last night and I tripped on way back!! Great comeback though!! I was like Michael Jackson doing the Moon Walk!!! Didn’t fall right down, just sort of did this crazy dance thing, like Billy Connolly on the airport escalator!!! A man passed me and looked, I waved in mid dance saying “I’m Okay!!! I’m Okay!!” I have just this morning seen a girl in a plastic bikini! Whats that all about??? It’s fri–ING over 30 degrees out there! It’ll melt, like a certain Memphian woman I know!! Climbed the seven flights to my room, walked down the corridor to Room 719,turned the key, it wouldn’t work!! Sh-t!! They’ve locked me out!! All those posts on Facebook!! Turned out I was trying to get into Room 619!!! A burglar now!!! And not a very quiet one!!! I quickly shuffled down the corridor before somebody opened the door and called the cops!!! Away for my lunch now in La Scena!! Dentist at three!!!

 

      

 

 

 
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My dentist told me that City Park Mall had glass floors and she couldn’t go because she was claustrophobic – no that’s not right! Anyway she doesn’t like heights. I toddled along to see. Went right up to car parking floors. No!! Until I realised she was telling me Glass Partitions round each level, like Castle Court!! I am thick!! No more Aperol Spritz!! I mean, think about it! Every pervert in Romania would be on the bottom floor looking up!! I am blaming tooth pain!! So many people on shopping floors On GLASS!! What was I thinking! Look down, wave to your friend below, feel queasy! Smash!! Land in Starbucks on top of an iced mocha or worse a large cup of hot java!!

 

      

 

 

 

Coming back from City Mall it started to rain. I was dancing in it like Gene Kelly!! Then noticed some of the women had big round wet patches on their b—s. I thought to meself, Hmm!!! That’s strange!! Looked at my own. No, no damp patches. Not surprised mind you, they would be hard for the rain to find them.!Then I twigged! Dope that I am! Rain, beach, swimming, grab clothes and run!! The girls had been swimming!Hence, the damp bits! I am thick sometimes, you know! Well, O. K, most of the time!!! Saw a lovely dress in window of shop on the strip(Hark at me!! Strip!!) Well, whatever you call that path with shops on one side and cafes on the other. Headed to dressing room to try it on when shop assistant ran after me and gave me a bigger size! B–ch!!! Well joke is on her, It was like a tent on me and I don’t want her smaller size now!!! Cow!!! I needed to get some money from bank machine but all I could find was an exchange place. I felt like a pervert with this young fella, miming how you slide the card in and out because he didn’t speak English!! Jesus, lucky I wasn’t arrested!! Anyway it is still true about restaurants and single people!! They don’t like us!! My waiter just looked at me and said “One??”